Via: @adsnell2004 on Craigslist

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Text Version:
In a time of inbred children and atrophic genetic links, we have the evolutionary excrement of that we call the schizophrenics. But this is the 2000's, this is a delicate but progressive time. As our development centers get over-saturated and malnourished, our frail but manic minds tend to the streets for survival. They walk among us as you can see, uttering profanities to themselves, dictating a stuttered set of conspiracies, and communicate with the voices in their head. The population of these broken minds grow everyday. We have the capacity to feed and nourish them, possibly giving some sort of shelter as well, but in a social aspect these, as you call them. "fuckin' weird dudes" have a social life that is in desperate need of assimilation. With this comes my philanthropic deed of the decade. I present to you "bluetooths for schizophrenics". This is a revolutionary program for our 'retro-minded' brotherin who live day to day in the condensed social atmosphere among us. What will this program do? Well with proper donation we will be able to give a special schizophrenic a blue tooth headset to wear as they roam the streets. Instead of being mocked and harassed, people walking by will hear them talking to themselves, and only think "wow, he has a bluetooth, he must be doing something important!" In fact, this maybe the social conduit to the "terminally-mindfucked" individual to whom we are catering to. Maybe this person is having a pseudo conversation with obama, now if he weren't wearing this headset you would chastise him and call him a fucking freak, but with the simple insertion of this apparatus he will be instantly transformed into a socialite, a somebody! This program is none the less superficial, but 15% of our politicians have been a subject in our 'Bluetooths for Schizophrenics' program, and lead pseudo-normal lives running our country day to day! (due to HIPAA laws we cannot disclose the names.) This is documented proof of the success of this program. So donate now and be apart of this revolutionary program to help those crazy bastards!